Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Twas the week before Bar Exam results...

Because I skipped out of lawschool early, a bunch of my classmates are waiting for their bar results this week. Since the California Bar Exam ate my soul, and this time six months ago I was watching the countdown online on the State Bar website to see the days, then hours, until the results were posted, I feel their pain. Waiting for bar exam results is the legal equivalent of being shipped off to boot camp: I am sure someone somewhere conceived of the wait as a way to strip away all self-esteem and rebuild us as uberlawyers who can withstand any number of lengthy delays and sleepless nights. Whatever, I am thinking of all of you. Life is better on the other side.
On another note, one classmate who passed the February bar with me is still not through the moral character exam, and will get sworn in at the same time as the July bar takers. Let that be a lesson to anyone putting off the moral character application, eh?

Monday, October 1, 2007

These days...

I am mostly practicing law: mostjuniorassociate.blogspot.com.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

OK, so maybe that was oversimplistic...

The whole thing I wrote about doing the fourteen-hour-a-day hooked on Bar/Bri study plan? I realised that wasn't so helpful when I was having lunch with a friend and she said "but I read about the fourteen hours a day on your blog -- I just can't do that." I also went to an "I passed the Bar" party for a friend who I am sure did NOT study 14 hours a day, but there he is, a new admittee just like the rest of us lucky 38%.

I can't speak for any of my classmates, but the most important thing I did was treat studying like a job. A new job for which I had no skills and needed constant training. I realized that I had never really studied properly before in my life -- not for lawschool, not for college, not in high school. I had to learn how to study, I had to go into parts of the office supply store I had never visited before, and I had to do it fast. I bought highlighters and flashcards and pens and pencils and an endless supply of legal pads, and I wrote outlines for the first time, wrote notes longhand, and wrote and wrote and wrote. I still have a deformed finger from all of the writing.

Then, when I was done writing, I typed up notes. I condensed the notes into outlines, and then condensed them some more. In the end, I had a two-or-four sided outline for each subject, and during the last few weeks, I had this outline handy when doing practice essays so that if I didn't know something, I could highlight it, and write it out, and go through the whole drill again.

I also kept Sakai's attack outlines with me like security blankets. Even if you don't do Bar/Bri, find attack outlines you like and memorize them. When you sit down for a con law question and remember to run through all the standing-type issues, and then realize you don't remember the test for commercial speech, it won't kill you because you have already written 1000 words and you are on a roll.

MBEs, well, I went old-fashioned, again, with flashcards for everyone I got wrong, and my outlines handy, and post-it notes of exceptions and rules (in that order) all over the house. It took me a while to stop fighting the MBEs, but I managed, despite my double-bubble nightmare on the actual exam.

PTs -- these really are, I think, the most important thing, whatever anyone says about hiking your score with MBEs or a really good essay. I forgot everything I had learned in lawschool and as a paralegal and, again, went back to outlines and pieces of paper and old-fashioned drafting. I did a lot of practice PTs, and this made the real things seem more comfortable because the practice ones were tough. To open an exam booklet and feel relieved when you see the question is a blessing, especially if there are 200 points riding on it.

Finally, my Bar exam studying secret, if there is one, is to be relaxed about time. I carved out a huge amount of time for studying, but spent a good part of that time watching daytime TV, eating lunch or surfing the web. Because I labeled the maximum amount of time possible as study time, it didn't have such a huge impact when I took time out, because I felt a sense of time-abundance, especially since I worked full-time through half of law school while raising three kids. Being at home for all that time "studying" was a luxury to me.

There is one more thing. People say that the Bar exam is useless because the law is not something you will ever use in practice. This isn't true. The PT method I learned is invaluable now I am the most junior associate in a busy firm, with bankers boxes full of motions in limine to respond to, and the basic, step-by-step, ABC legal knowledge helps make complex tasks feel more manageable.

It is worth it, and it is possible.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Over and out

Now I am no longer in Bar Exam limbo hell, I probably don't need to vent on this blog any more. After all, it seems like there are enough of my classmates and fellow Bar prep takers that didn't make it to keep the flame alive.

But I have to have one last rant about "other" Bar review classes, particularly because so many of the people I know who didn't pass took Flemings or BarPassers or unknown tutoring things and it makes me mad because it didn't need to be this way! I don't work for Bar/Bri and I do know some talented lawyers who took BarPassers. But if you have a choice, stay mainstream on this. Trust me! If you take Bar/Bri and it doesn't work, sure, go for something else second time around. But otherwise, stick with the hardcore 14 hour a day thing. That's it!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Letty, this one is yours...

On day two of the Bar Exam, I found out that my good friend and first-year deskmate Letty had walked away from taking the Bar after a horrible experience with the Flemings intensive Bar Prep course and a nightmare time studying with a noxious roommate. On that day I vowed that from there on in, I was doing it for Letty.

Letty -- we passed!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Results will be available in 22 hours

This is it. I am drinking red wine already, will proceed to hard liquor as soon as I can graciously get out of work tommorrow to join friends for (un)Happy Hour, then home for the results show.

Heck.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

What to do, where to go, what to say...

There is a flurry of contact from fellow law students that every Bar Exam taker must experience 48 hours before the results are published: suddenly, the question on everyone's lips is "where do I want to be when the results come out." Or, more accurately, who do I want to be with. Do I want to go to a friend's house and start drinking at 3 and sit on the beach with a group of people and wait for 6 p.m. so we can log on to the California Bar Exam website all at the same time? Not really (and beside, this is a friend known for her dodgy computer, so really, no, even if we will be practicing law together until we are 99 years old). Do I want to go to happy hour and then try to pick up a wireless signal on my laptop in the bar? Or do I stay home and sweat it out privately, away from the public eye? Someone asked me if I was going to check at work, which is a "doh" question since I am not one to stick around in the office at 6 p.m. on a Friday at the best of times.

And what is the protocol for checking in with other bar exam takers? Do we call, or wait for them to call? Is no call a sign of failure, or a sign of ecstatic celebratory sex with a significant other which means they just can't get to the phone? The classmate who took three weeks off BarBri to take a vacation and (not much of a secret) get breast implants is going to Vegas and won't check her results until Monday, which makes me wonder if she knows something we don't. Me, I guess I will go for a combination of the happy hour plus home alone system, and just let the results roll in from other people. Blech, as Snoopy would say.

Was that me?

I am lifting these MBE statistics wholesale from A girl "works" a bar (exam) pole , who cites Pieper bar review. Are they recent statistics, I wonder? I hope not!

Mean "Raw" Score 132.62 out of 200 (66%)
Mean "Scaled" Score 141.22
Mean Constitutional Law "Raw" 23.51 out of 33 (71%) High: 33 Low: 4
Mean Contracts Law "Raw" Score 21.63 out of 33 (66%)High: 33 Low: 7
Mean Criminal Law "Raw" Score 21.23 out of 32 (66%) High: 32 Low: 4
Mean Evidence "Raw" Score 21.65 out of 33 (66%) High: 33 Low: 6
Mean Property "Raw" Score 21.64 out of 33 (66%) High: 33 Low: 5
Mean Torts "Raw" Score 22.95 out of 34 (68%) High: 34 Low: 5

The highest MBE raw score was a 184 out of 200 and the lowest was a 53 out of 200.

So, here is my question to the world: with my scantron-deficient education, I could well have filled out the wrong bubbles for just about every MBE. Never mind that I managed to average a respectable score while studying. It doesn't matter if you fill in the wrong damn ovals with the 2B pencil. Some, I might have got lucky on: but the scary thing is that the 53 out of 200, well, that could be me. I am already having classic psychotherapist dreams about boxes of snakes being delivered to my house and leaving the house naked. This is all I need.

I am listening to the Klaxons alot. The theme tune for this week is the Paul Oakenfold cover with the refrain "It's not over, not over, not over yet."

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Statistics...

I should clarify what I said about looking for answers (to the question of whether any of us stand a chance passing the bar) in the statistics published by the State Bar: that being white and female is statistically a "plus." The statistics are nothing more than numbers that highlight the exclusionary nature of the Bar Exam and favor some by accident of birth. Taking the Bar is about hard work and sacrifice for most people, me included, and the fact that last February, the overall pass rate was 53.5% for non-attorney first time takers, 61% for those who self-identify as "white" and 54.1% is not something I am embracing as representative of my personal philosophy! Indeed, in my case being female was certainly not something that helped my exam taking strategy, since I went through law school at night while raising three children rather than re-locate to attend an ABA institution...

At this stage of the California Bar Exam game, with less than a week to go until results are made available, searching for clues is all anyone can do.

Friday, May 18, 2007

The limbo goes on...

The State Bar website has listed the number of days until results are available for some time now: today, I don't need to go look to see it is only SEVEN days until results are released. It is evident in the fact I no longer sleep, I have become a blithering idiot in my work habits and my job search has ground to a halt because I can't bear to look at my resume right now. If I have any advice to people taking the Bar this July, it is this: during the last seven days before your results are released, do not operate heavy machinery, do not enter into any "could-become-a-fight" debates with loved ones, do not embark on any complex research projects at work (yesterday I had big problems grappling with the simplest discovery tasks) and do not leave any minute in your day unfilled lest the spectre of the results screen loading before your eyes reduces you to a heap of jelly. Just breathe deeply.

Why so nerve-wracking? After six months of study, three-plus years of law school, countless clerking jobs and paralegal gigs and networking and being in the right place at the right time, it all comes down to whether or not I pass the Bar. I am spending far too much time reading old blog entries from people who passed, and failed, that they wrote in the run-up to getting their results in the hope that somewhere there is an answer to the big unknown or a clue to whether I will pass or fail. Don't get me wrong -- I know it is all about my performance on the exam itself, but all I know about that is I didn't suck and I didn't blow it out of the water either. So I obsess on other people's experiences and the Bar statistics. Things that count in my favor: female, white, first time taker, no break-ups before the exam, good undergrad degree. Things that count against: CA accredited law school (but over 70% pass last February), shareholder agreements, forgetting the test for commercial speech regulation, not being sure about third-party beneficiaries and subleasing, maybe too much time reading other people's blogs and not enough time studying (then again, ten to fourteen hours a day is a lot of studying).

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

So, where will I be when the results are released? I was lying in bed last night pondering this question (I ponder way too much right now) when the love of my life said "Hey, X is leaving next week. We are all going to happy hour on Friday..." Me (sounding a bit high-pitched): "Friday?" Him: "When do you get your results? I'll be back by then." Does this mean I will be rattling around the house on my own at 5:45? Or do I go to the pub and endure countless intrusions into the fact of whether or not I have got my results yet? Or even worse, publically leave to come home and check the computer?

I think I'll go to the pub. The Friday before the Bar exam, I went with my flashcards and sat on a stool running through evidence codes and insider trading while everyone played pool and drank beer. It felt reckless at the time, but now I know it was probably the most sensible thing to do. Mine's a pint.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Countdown nightmares I have known

The nightmares are really rolling in fast now. Last night I had no less than three separate and distinct dreams about the bar exam. May 25 looms.

First, I dreamt that I had somehow forgotten to download the examsoft files into my computer and only realized at 3 p.m. on day 3 when I tried to close my exam down. Wake up, get glass of water, back to bed only to dream that the exam had a question about intercontinental ballistic missile agreements that I answered with a generalized historical response, only to realize at the last minute that this was a federal preemption question and not only had I forgotten to use headings in my essay, but also ignored the whole RAMPSE analysis and that handy hierarchy framework and all that Sakai stuff.

If that wasn't enough, this morning between the alarm going off and actually waking up, my subconscious revisited my biggest fear: the MBE scantron and the very real fact that I discovered that answers 125 to 200 were mis-bubbled just as I was about to get up and leave the exam hall (Question 125 -- so good I answered it twice) necessitating such a frenzy of erasing and re-bubbling that the kindly proctor asked me if I was OK.

If I am this freaked out now (which, I hasten to add, is far more freaked out than I have been at ANY time up until now, including the night before the exam) then how am I going to get through the next ten days?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Waiting for my California Bar Exam results. Still.

Last night was my first bar-result nightmare, and I sense there are more to come. The uncertainty of not knowing has been bearable for the past few months, but suddenly even the simplest task is fraught with larger-than-life variables. For instance, buying a bottle of wine: do I need to start buying two-buck-chuck in anticipation of having to shell out the thousand or more dollars needed to retake BarBri, or can I instead join the Lucas & Llewellyn wine club and have bottles of decent booze delivered to my house on a regular basis?

The University where I did my undergrad degree (the department just got ranked No. 2 in the UK) has further complicated the issue by decreeing that the tenth-anniversary of the founding of said department will be celebrated with a big party. On June 2. Do I book a flight, hotel and time off work, and assume when everyone asks what I am doing these days I can say I just passed the Bar? Way too risky: what could be worse than traveling three thousand miles to tell everyone I just failed to become a lawyer... If only I could somehow skip into the future, and get on with my life.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

A doctor in the house

All the crazy bar-focused study that goes on between lawschool and being licensed to practice law can cause one to forget something pretty important: going to law school doesn't just qualify one to take the Bar exam, it also earns a nifty juris doctorate.

When the robe arrived for my graduation, the very fact that the bag it came in said "doctor" moved me to tears. We get the three stripes on our sleeves, we get the ever-so-weird looking hat (beret?) instead of the undergrad mortar board -- but best of all, we get the realization that all the studying and late night sessions and soul-destroying law school exams are not just about practicing law, but about being a legal scholar and knowing about straw man transactions in feudal England. My thank you speech for this will name, at the top of the list, my wonderful mother: who was three thousand miles away when I walked across the stage to get my doctoral hood, but greeted me when I got home with a huge bouquet of lilies on the doorstep. Thanks ma, you made me a doctor!

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Bar Bitch a bitch no more?

BarBitch is a great blog to read if you are taking the Bar or are about to take the Bar or have taken the Bar and failed. Even though it took me a while to work out the blog was about the North Carolina bar exam, it sums up all of the anger that taking the Bar induces in even the most level headed and tolerant (no, I am not level headed and tolerant). And BarBitch passed the bar!
Another 7 weeks and 5 days wait for the California massive, however. Arggg.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Eight weeks? You're killing me.

For a while, I haven't thought about the California Bar Exam at all. I have sold all my PMBR stuff on eBay, returned my torn-up, scrawled-in BarBri books to BarBri for a refund of the meager deposit, glanced at the released questions online and cleared all Bar-related stuff from my desk. Everyone has stopped asking me whether I passed and figured out that I don't know yet. I am getting used to having evenings and weekends and a pay check.

But around once an hour, it hits me. What if I haven't passed the Bar? The evenings and weekends and pay checks are nice, but they remind me constantly that this sudden bliss is the result of an uneasy detente. I don't need to study now this minute, but if things go wrong on May 25 then I will have to quit my job and start studying again, plus July will have new subjects tested for the first time. Goodbye evenings, weekends, pay checks: I hardly knew you. At least I have the luxury of looking at those questions and not seeing any glaring omissions from my six essay answers (on the Bar Exam Primer group, people are still all flustered about missing the Crawford issue). For the people who are sure they FAILED, life is I am sure a whole lot harder than it is for those of us who hope that somehow, we may have scraped through.

After eight weeks will come seven, and six, five, four, three, two and one, and then I will be sitting here and will KNOW whether or not I passed the Bar. Until then, I guess I have to carry on in limbo.

Friday, March 16, 2007

I got a job!

Two weeks ago, returning from Ontario after taking the Bar Exam, all I wanted to do was sleep. A week ago, I was beginning to get a bit antsy around the house and starting to feel nervous about opening the Visa bill (I put all the Bar expenses on my credit card because I couldn't face being broke while studying). On Monday, I put together a resume, and then today I WAS HIRED.

This is great news, because (a) I didn't go to the kind of lawschool where recruiters line up to hire you during 3L, and (b) the firm is nice, everyone is friendly and (c) it will give me the chance to prove my stuff before the May 25 news loads in front of my terrified eyes. Sure, the salary is not fantastic, but it is much more than the $0 an hour I am making at home (and more than I was making before I quit work to study for the Bar, although not of course anywhere close to what I was making in my previous life), and having sold all my Bar prep materials on EBay, there is no other excuse I can make to my family about why I should be lounging around the house all day.

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Thursday, March 15, 2007

'Civil' law

I love this story about lawyers in Pakistan going on strike. Why? In particular, it has to be the realization that if I do pass the Bar, I get to wear a suit while throwing bricks at riot police...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Going back to the source

Two weeks after taking the Bar Exam, I realize that I need a snappy one-liner to describe whether or not it is likely that I actually passed. This is important for several reasons, particularly because I am applying for jobs and no-one wants to hire a would-be lawyer who probably won't be a lawyer.

What's it to be? "I am feeling okay about it" is a bit touchy-feely for me. "It was a complete fucking nightmare" is a bit too honest. "I feel confident that I hit the main issues" is probably delusional. "It's out of my hands at this point" has worked on a few people (but since I still don't have a job, it is probably not the one).

Here is what one of my classmates said in an e-mail: "I believe that the material tested was very straightforward. No surprises there- we all knew the stuff." This is not a phrase I will be using. Straightforward? Wait, did we take the same MBE? We all knew the stuff? Well, erm, sure, if you exclude the stuff that I just didn't know.

In the meantime, I have gone back to my outlines to see how bad I might have messed up. Shareholder agreement -- I think I got it. Subleasee and lack of any privity of estate or contract? Check. That's not so bad. So, there is my phrase. "Not so bad." Now hire me, someone, because I am NOT SO BAD.

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Thursday, March 8, 2007

North Carolina Bar Exam, I like your style

In a slight deviation from my "get up, get dressed, get a job" lifestyle, I stumbled upon a post by Bar Exam Bitch about a conspiracy, a patent lawyer and the North Carolina Bar Exam.

In the post was a link to a website called State Bar Watch, a site which seems to be devoted to one man's attempt to take on the North Carolina Bar's examination procedures after several unsuccesful attempts at being admitted to practice law in that state. I have never been to North Carolina, but am sure it is a delightful place. Maybe Bar Exam Bitch is from North Carolina, I am not even sure. She(?) has a good name, the blog is great, and that's enough for me. Anyway, State Bar Watch was fascinating in the way that personal crusades against rank injustice always are, but most fascinating were the perceived injustices from the July 2006 exam.

With the California Bar Exam fresh in my mind, I was eager to see what indignities those North Carolinan applicants had to face. Imagine my horror: they were given pens that didn't work (given pens? try asking a Cal Bar proctor for a pen), forced to give up their clocks after clocks had been banned, and (wait for it) FORCED TO PROVIDE ADMISSION TICKETS AND IDENTIFICATION before they could sit the exam.

The pass rate for the North Carolina Bar is a not-too-shabby 80% for first timers, 72% overall, with results available around a month after sitting the exam. According to the North Carolina Bar website, 2006 was not a pretty year for exam takers:

"...the scores of an unprecedented number of applicants remain sealed as a result of large numbers of exam security violations and questions concerning other character and fitness issues. A total of 115 examinees' results remain sealed. Hearings have been scheduled for these persons, and will take place over the next several months.

A large number of exam violations this year involved bringing banned items into the exam site, ranging from cell phones to watches and bar review materials, despite advance written warnings and posted signs. Other incidents involved reported violations of exam timing requirements – for example, continuing to write after time had been called."

There is a moral to the story, and it is something along the lines of this being a great comeback to any jokes about California lawyers being the most unethical in the nation. Aside from that, I am shopping for real estate in North Carolina.

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Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Unlicensed purgatory, or something

There are about two-and-a-half months to go until the bar examination results are released. Much as I would love to sit around dissecting whether or not I passed, I feel sure it has little to do with whether or not I remembered the correct phrasing for a constitutional law test and more to do with the vagaries of the grading system. Scaled score, anyone?

There are so many rumors and conjectures about the way essays are graded for the California Bar Exam that there is really no point in trying to unravel what really happens: I have read variously that everyone starts with a passing grade and then is marked down, that there is a subjective standard of pass and fail that the grader can nail on a first read-through, and that there are "no" issue sheets used by exam graders. I reckon I probably missed between three and five issues on the essays (fiduciary directors, standard of review that I hid in a paragraph for constitutional law so no-one would see I couldn't remember if it was strict or intermediate, and probably some other stuff too), but who knows what that will mean on May 25? All I know is I won't walk away with 100%, but I suspect that this won't matter if someone somewhere thinks I write like a passing kind of a person and my MBE score was sexy.

In the meantime, to escape well-meaning but completely annoying people (mostly elderly) from asking how I did or opining that they are sure that I passed, I am off to get a job. I have a feeling that I will look back on these few months and they will seem like the most stress-free and peaceful of my career. I'll see you in court!

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Friday, March 2, 2007

California Bar Exam ate my soul

I have thought for a long time about how today would feel. I knew I would be exhausted after three days of exams and five days of living in a hotel, away from the people I love, plus the 130 mile drive home last night. But I had no idea that it would be so hard to break the habits of Bar study. I have become a sheep. Happy now, Honigsberg?

My lack of free will is staggering at this point. To describe how it is the day after taking a three day California Bar Exam is nigh impossible. I woke up and felt afraid, like I have almost every day since December, but realised I had nothing left to feel afraid of. Like a zombie, I got a cup of tea and went into the study and turned on my computer, but realised there is nothing left to learn. I tried to wade through my e-mail box, and there they were: four emails from Examsoft, confirming that my 6 essays and two performance tests have been uploaded. I can't get them back, can't unravel the knots I got into trying to get around the fact that there is no privity of contract or privity of estate in a sublease but I still want the tenant to pay rent (third party beneficiaries? I don't know) and I just don't know the rule here, damn it. Well, I do now, but what good is that?

The good news is, I did my best. I remembered a lot of stuff, threw it down, and actually enjoyed the performance tests. But now I have offered it up to the powers that be, and am at the mercy of the graders of the world's hardest Bar Exam.

I guess I better get a job to take my mind off the wait (and earn some money, of course).

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

This one's for you, Leticia...

I was going to write about how I almost failed the Bar today by filling in 75 of the wrong bubbles and had to rush to erase them and go back over the whole test, but then I found out that a very sweet and lovely and talented friend whom I have known since the first day of law school is NOT TAKING THE BAR EXAM THIS WEEK. While we are in Ontario trying to pass the Bar, she is not, as expected, taking the same exam in Sacramento. Instead, she is "elsewhere" and this is not good news.

She endured law school (on the first day, we made a list of who would make it and put ourselves at the top). She graduated and signed up to take the Bar Exam. She paid thousands of dollars for a bar prep course (more about that later). And then... What?

Well, let's start with the bar prep course. This girl is pretty damn intelligent -- before law school she was in banking and in law school she blew most people out of the water with just how smart she was. And still is. And then, she (1) was persuaded to sign up for some bullshit Flemings bar preparation course and (2) to take the course, she moved to OC and shared a condo with someone who, let's just say, is somewhat lacking in the area of human kindness. Next thing we know, the roommate is running around town in a frenzy, and Letty is gone.

There is a moral to this story, and it is somewhat hard to grasp: but for the short version, don't mess around with the Flemings course, friends. Take BarBri and drink the "do it once, do it right" Kool Aid. And if you must move to Orange County, do it with someone lovely.

Letty, if I make it, it is in your name. We'll see you in July, Tia...

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Hmmm

I am impatient already, and only a third of the way through these things, a.k.a. as the seven or eight hour marathon bar exams. If I got 135 on the performance exam, 65, 60, 55 on the essays, perhaps, what does that mean? Really?

There are no 65 60 or 55 graded essays for the California Bar Exam online that I can find, just a lot of Bar prep courses that assume I have failed already. This is all I could find: a blog entry with comments about grading schemes.

Fiduciary my scene, baby

Day One of the California Bar Exam. Today involved three of my least-favorite things:

Property, with a confusing amount of non-possessory interest and some subleases.
Corporations, wherein I forgot what Sakai said we should always remember (in my notes, it says it like this: ALWAYS MENTION THAT DIRECTORS ARE FIDUCIARIES).
Criminal Law insanity defenses. Blech.

At least the performance test was manageable, and there was a bird flying around the examination hall, which was kind of symbolic of something. My brain flying off perhaps? Also, not as many people freaking out as I had expected, everyone seemed pretty chilled out and friendly and no-one puked. Thank heavens for small mercies, eh?

Monday, February 26, 2007

The Day Before The Bar Exam

It is too late now to learn about the constitution and all of those rights and stuff. Instead, I am gazing out of the window at airplanes taking off and wondering what the hell I will have to eat for lunch tomorrow, since there is nowhere at all anywhere near. I will exist on stolen fruit from the executive lounge.

My bar theme tune is Ruby by The Kaiser Chiefs. I like this bit:

Due to lack of interest tomorrow is cancelled
Let the clocks be reset and the pendulums held

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Viewpoint neutral

I like to think BarBri prepares "Applicants" for the California Bar Exam down to the very last detail. We have not only been told what to write, but what to eat and even when to go to the bathroom. What was missing, however, from the otherwise great Pacer schedule, was just what a hassle it is to pack up three months of studying and drive to some obscure city like Ontario. If Peter Honigsberg had given me a ride to my hotel, saving me the nightmare of driving 130 miles and crossing Los Angeles County, now that would have been good service.
Anyway, I'm here. I have a beautiful view of some convenience stores, and am nicely situated between the Airport and the Interstate. The Ontario Convention Center is not as ghastly as the California Mart where I took the MPRE, and I did my last (ever, I hope) MBE practice exam this morning.
All that's left is to remember to get up in the morning and PASS THE BAR EXAM.
Good luck to everyone sharing my pain,
xxx

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Saturday, February 24, 2007

Good idea?

Today: three Barbri essays, a performance test, some MBEs and assorted organizational tasks in preparation for an early departure for the wilds of Ontario in the morning. Good idea.

Last night? Bad idea. A matter of hours before the State Bar Exam, my last-minute study plan took a turn for the worse when I found myself embroiled in a drunken night on the town. Not my drunkenness, thankfully, but even so I am feeling the pain of a late night out. In my defense, I DID take flash cards with me, and managed to get a grip on the important distinctions of "who can sue" in third party beneficiary contracts while perched on a bar stool watching a game of pool. Well, at least I think I got a grip on it. Only time will tell.

Today, I took my MBE drills to the Courthouse, where the most gorgeous and talented teenager in the world was competing in the County mock trials. I managed to get in 75 questions, pretty lousy for a three-hour trial but I had to break for the pretrial arguments to watch my lovely daughter wash the floor with some poor schmuck from Laguna Blanca. I am doing all the drills in distracting conditions now, in preparation for the real thing, but a courtroom full of teenagers has got to be the most distracting so far.

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Friday, February 23, 2007

Three days = one long weekend

Realistically, I have three days left to study for the Bar Exam, and finally I feel like I have a study method that is working. If only I had found it six weeks ago...

First, when I started out I made flashcards for everything, even though I knew some of the stuff and some of the stuff just wasn't suited to flashcards anyway. Then suddenly I had hundreds and hundreds of flashcards, all over the house. If I do this again (and God knows, I hope that I pass the damn Bar and don't have to retake), I will only make flashcards for the things I DON'T know. Makes sense now.

Then, I let myself get embroiled in PMBR-disgust. I did the six-day workshop, which was good because it (a) made BarBri look like a quality operation and (b) got me started with outlines and MBE drills back in December, plus came with the free CD set of MBE subject lectures, which is great to listen to while "napping." And they spin you a line about how hard the MBE is and thus you must be fabulous because you got more than half right. But beyond that, I was wrong to let it intrude into any study past January. Probably about 25% of the questions are too finite, they convey too much distracting nonsense about Bob Feinberg's life and sometimes the distinctions and exceptions to the rule overwhelm the actual brightline tests that I need to know. So even if you know EVERYTHING, which of course I never will, it is hard to get above 75% and mostly you will find yourself stuck at 60%. The online NCBEX MBEs made me feel better.

And finally, the essay attack outlines from Sakai rule my world. I have been keeping them by my side while outlining essays in the realization that my approach is more in need of assistance than my grasp of the substantive law. Good idea. No really, it is.

Now, to work. If I can get through this weekend, I can conquer the beast and be admitted to practice law in the State of California.

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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Take raincoats, scarves, umbrella

OK. It's going to be raining next week in Ontario. This messes up my "walk it off" plan for stress during lunch, and also means I could be trapped in the Conference Center with thousands of similarly stressed out other people. Shit.

This is where my origins as a little Welsh girl will come in handy. Stay indoors because of a bit of drizzle? Dim diolch.

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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Ontario, thou art ridiculously good-looking

I didn't drive to the test center to "look around" before the Bar exam, even though everyone says that if you don't, you are pretty much an idiot. Instead, I did a Google map search, looked at the satellite images, and remembered driving through once or twice on the way back from Joshua Tree. That was enough for me. But check this out, it's very cool: someone went to the Ontario Convention Center and videoed it, then posted the results on You Tube. No, I didn't go to You Tube and search, I found it when I was looking for hotel reviews... Who knew it would take ten minutes to walk from the Sheraton to the exam location? Amazing. On the satellite map, they are right next door.

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Distractions

Today the Barbri agenda lists Civ Pro (suck at it) and Community Property (only subject I understand). So I decide to escape the interpleader madness and re-enter the human race by going downtown to get some lunch. Good idea???? There are so many people who are NOT TAKING THE BAR! They sit around outside restaurants eating leisurely lunches, shop, walk, breath fresh air. They have jobs and money and stuff. Even the panhandlers look like they're having fun. How can this be? And why don't people see my pain? How anyone expects me to "have a nice day" is beyond me at this point.

I am thinking of having some tee-shirts made up. They will say:

I HAVE TO GO TO ONTARIO CONVENTION CENTER
TO TAKE THE
CALIFORNIA STATE BAR EXAMINATION
AND ALL I CAN REMEMBER IS THIS STUPID TEE-SHIRT

Then people will understand why I will not be having a nice day until my name appears on the pass list.

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Westlaw, where art thou?

In the midst of all of what might politely be termed Bar Prep Madness, I have been comforted to know that three months out of law school, my free Westlaw account was still active. Westlaw is like crack for people like me, and the Westlaw Rewards I have reaped from using it so much include a free iPod, a leather trial binder (that makes way too much zipping noise to use in court) and a quasi-Bulova watch. Not to mention all the other stuff Westlaw throws at law students to keep them hooked, including the travel mugs, lexan bottles, pens and the rolling litigation case. I was going for one last freebie, a Cross pen, and doing a bit of research on the side, when BAM. They turned it off! Gone is my free access, and gone are my 2000 points. So now, I HAVE to pass the Bar exam.

The pressure is on.

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The end is nigh

Tuesday morning, one week to go. I haven't slept properly for two nights and need to do something relaxing to take my mind of this, but am too scared to walk away for a few hours in case my "need to relax" is really just my bad, lazy study habits kicking in. The State Bar has sucked out my soul!

Last night, I did some practice Property MBE questions and sucked. 13 out of 20 on the "Introductory" level: I can see my weak spots -- remembering the names of future interests, applying brightline RAP and those long recording/mortgage/BFP scenarios which make me want to run and hide my head. But do I have the energy to fix them, and is this the best use of my time?

It all comes down to whether I can pull off the essays, and herein lies the problem: BarBri sucked for me, when it came to essays. I loved the workshops, use the attack outlines and so on, but the graded assignments were fundamentally useless. I passed only one (the one where the grader wrote fail and then crossed it out and wrote pass). On the others, the grader wrote things like "you are on the right track" and "good" but without any sort of letter or number grade, I have no idea whether I barely failed or completely failed. I could be pushing 65% on all of them (and then I can pass the Bar exam) or I could be pushing 50%. The performance test was no better: the grader comments were on the lines of "good use of address and letter format." So, I can write a letter. No shit.

OK, enough whining. I have to confirm my hotel reservation (I am so paranoid I have rooms booked at two different hotels in case one falls through) and get rid of some of the flash cards that have littered my house.

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Monday, February 19, 2007

Last night I dreamt...

What kind of nightmare could be worse than a Contracts/Property cross-over exam where the property is the Pompidou Center and the question (and all of the discussion) is in French? I have moved on from the outlining-exams-in-an-orderly-fashion dreams, which is a shame because they are useful, and now am frequently having to live out the scenarios in the exam fact pattern. And a week from now, I will be hitting the freeway to drive to Ontario. Yuck.

Here is what I am going to pack:
1. My cute electric kettle.
2. Some Earl Grey tea.
3. Oatmeal.
(all so if the people around the hotel are ghastly, I can lock myself in my room and not starve).
4. Some pretty decent red wine to send me to sleep.
5. Some trashy magazines and a good book, so I can read something when I am trying to get to sleep. I thought about trashy books, but after watching a John Grisham film this weekend which made me cry when the Matt-Damon character sat the Bar (after only one or two days of study in a hospital cafe, and he got to sit on chairs that looked distinctly comfortable in the exam), I know I have to stay away from anything to do with the law.
6. I'll take my Sakai attack outlines, in case. Nothing else except what is on my laptop.
7. My benefit Realness of Concealness, to hide the fact I haven't slept in three months.
8. Six hundred alarm clocks, in the vain pretence I will fall asleep.

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Sunday, February 18, 2007

Contracts: less likely

After an all-day contracts cramming frenzy, I am praying it won't be on the exam. This is the only subject where my scores go down the more I study -- plus my essays are twice as long as the model answers, because I throw too much in. Today is all about evidence which makes me feel better, but more scary is the fact that I and thousands of other members of the Bar/Bri massive turned the page of the Pacer program today to reveal the final sheet of carefully calendared study: the one that lists three days of something called BAR EXAM. Oh shit, that's only about an inch away.

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

Heat is definitely on

For two days now, the temperature has been in the 80s. This has a deleterious affect on my ability to think. I am trying to follow the BarBri Pacer schedule but the part that says "review (subject)" is proving impossible in this heat. All I can do is pass the flashcard/outline/Conviser in front of my eyes and hope that it creates enough of a breeze to waft some of the information into my brain -- but nothing is sinking in. In true California style, my main distraction has become shopping for ski clothes online for one of the girls, who has a trip to Mammoth on the day I get back from taking the Bar, and is exuding a barely-disguised fear that I won't be organized enough to order anything, and she will have to ski/sled/snowshoe in shorts and a tee shirt. Why did I even imagine I could study for the Bar with three kids?

With just over ten days to B-Day, things are not looking good. My MBEs are ok, thank God (I finally broke the 90% barrier, and am averaging 78%), but my essays (i.e., ability to recall rules of law and regurgitate onto the page in an orderly fashion) are seriously sub-par. And I need to blaze through some performance tests, too.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Everything was going just fine...

I was at my desk by 8 a.m. this morning. Treat Bar preparation like a job, we're told, and so, there I was, clocking in. Not sure who to bill for my time, but never mind. I have a cup of tea, some toast, and things are going well. I tie up some lose ends in Torts, turn to Constitutional Law (my weakest, weakest subject) and open up the outline. But where is the outline? For some ridiculous out of control reason, in front of me are my notes from PMBR con law back in December. What is NOT in front of me, and responding to File/Open/BarBri/Outlines/Conlaw routine I repeatedly try in a sad attempt to conjure up what I am looking for, is my final, all-knowing outline, the one I wrested from Erwin Chemerinksy's lecture back in the dark ages (January). Did I delete it? Forget to hit save? Hallucinate the whole experience, and never even attend lawschool?

So, by 9:45, I am banging my head against the wall. The PMBR outline is useless, full of irrelevant and barely tested exceptions. I have the Chemerinsky notes, which are over 50 pages long, and I have to make a new outline. At this point in the day, I wish I drank instant coffee or lived next door to the Coffee Cat, because grinding beans and boiling water seems like it will be the final straw.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Predictions schmedictions...

The predictions are in for the likely essay subjects on the upcoming (do you like that, as if I don't know how many minutes/seconds/breaths are left until February 27?) California Bar Exam, and of course, they don't tally. Me, I guess I'll just do the work, huh?

From Richard Sakai, who is the most trustworthy in my opinion:
Likely: Con Law, Civ Pro, Professional responsibility, Remedies
More likely than not: Community property, Criminal law, criminal procedure, Evidence, Real Property
Less likely: Contracts, Corporations, Torts, Wills and trusts

From Barpassers (thanks, Amanda):
1. Criminal Law/Criminal Procedure - Murder
2. Real Property - Land Acquisition (Adverse Possession)
3. Evidence - Issue re: Transcript style
4. Community Property - Pereira/VanCamp, Creditor issues
5. Civil Procedure - Jurisdiction/Joinder
6. Corporation - 10b5/16b
Bonus: Con Law - Equal Protection/Due Process 14th Amendment

But, best of all, from Matt:
1st day- AM. shit my pants; recover for the next 2 hours, break-finally wake up; PM. same as the morning but not as bad; struggle through the rest, hopefully finish the performance exam.
2nd day: drag my ass out of bed and convince myself to go take the test- next: probably a blur for the rest of the day
3rd day: laugh it off since I knew I got my ass kicked, finish test, get drunk for the next month and start for round 2 in July

That's the third way, I guess!

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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Wiki love

The famously difficult California Bar Exam.

Incase anyone else asks me why the Bar is such a big deal.

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Two weeks and a day

This is definitely the home stretch, and I am feeling pretty relaxed. The sun is out, I took most of Sunday off typing to avoid any permanent damage to my hand (the thought of not being able to type for the Bar was terrifying me), and am feeling ok with the world. Do I know the substantive law? No, but I know what I don't know and what I need to know, which is HOW TO PASS THE CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM, and that is ok with me. I'll save the freakouts till later.

I have been going into law school to study for the past few days, partly because my street is so damn noisy in the day time, and that has also been motivational. The first day, I sat in a first year lecture room to work, and it seemed like a thousand years ago that I sat in that room next to Letty and we looked around the room at everyone, guessing who would make it and who wouldn't. Letty, we made it! I had a nice talk with the Dean, too, who came to find me and tell me that I would have no problems and that she liked my haircut (I had it cut really short to save time) and wish me good luck. Which is nice, even though I bet she says that to everyone.

So, there's the feelgood moment. Now I must make the final countdown two-week study plan, and say goodbye to feelings of confidence and calm...

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Monday, February 12, 2007

No, really?

Every now and then, one of the practice essays just blows my mind. Like Question 3, from Winter 1990 - you know the one. Lawyer meets officer of corporate client, officer blows the whistle, and take it from there. Except, in the model answer, an attorney-client relationship was created when Officer met Lawyer. Well, fine, except if an attorney-client relationship was formed every time corporate counsel met with an officer or director, then how would an attorney ever represent a corporation? Pass board-ratified notes to the poor man? Use a system of flags hung by committee on the outside of the building? What seems like common sense to me is of course the wrong answer. Pray that whoever wrote that question is retired from writing any more questions, because it really truly sucks.

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Sunday, February 11, 2007

Professional irresponsibility

As lawyers presumably admitted in the State of California, I wonder how the Bar Examiners can sleep at night, with all the harm they cause us innocent and potentially fabulous attorneys. At this point, with a little over two weeks to go, I have excruciating pain in my hand/arm/shoulder from typing, a big disgusting bump growing out of my finger from handwriting and a serious case of anxiety. Plus, the financial trauma of not working since November is really beginning to kick in. And then I read that hotel coffee pots will give you meth poisoning! What next, State Bar, what next?
At this point, I am sure many law students considering public service jobs (potential DAs, public defenders, legal aid warriors etc) turn to themselves in the mirror and say "Fuck it. I'm going large on the Vioxx suits, baby."
Although on the other hand, I am not in the business of turning down any gainful employment, since I am entering the purgatory of three months waiting for exam results, where unless you have "top-of-graduating-class" tattooed on your forehead, no-one wants to take any chances in case they get stuck with a (hushed voices) failure.
One more thing on the meth coffee. One thing to watch for, apparently, is a chemical smell when you enter the hotel room. Oh, duh. You ever walked into a hotel room that doesn't smell of chemicals? I did once, but only because it was run by Australian hippies. Aside from that, I guess we assume all hotels are actually hotbeds of meth cuisine.

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Friday, February 9, 2007

You may very well think that; I couldn't possibly comment

Never mind the soon-to-be forgotten Anna Nicole -- the actor who played my hero Francis Urquhart died today. I could say all sorts of things along the lines of "he had a good innings" but truly, could he not have waited until I passed the Bar?

Now I must resolve to pursue a ruthless career along similar lines, only with the Public Defender's office instead of the Houses of Parliament.

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Thursday, February 8, 2007

Timely news

Just as I sit down to bang out another Wills and Trusts essay, what do I find? Anna Nicole Smith has fulfilled her life-long ambition of being just like Norma Jean.

Which leads me to thinking, how would that all work out in a Wills and Trusts question? The dead son, the baby with 16 fathers, the fortunately not so fertile octagenarian. The ultimate cross-over between Wills, Property, Remedies, Professional Responsibility, Corporations, Civil Procedure, Con Law and Torts. Bring it on.

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Honigsberg (n): overbearing, loud, becoming more annoying over time

Has it come to this? I am so damn tired that I FORGOT that we had a three-hour practice performance test last night. And, upon discovering the truth, man did I suck at it. First, I totally forgot that when the Bar examiners say "memorandum" they usually don't mean "memorandum." I was thrown into a spiral of confusion. Looks like a fact-finding question, smells like a fact-finding question, walks and talks like one... But, they want me to write a memorandum? Charred from all of the exortions on my graded Bar/Bri essays to FOLLOW THE TASK MEMO, I spent two hours and twenty minutes trying to discuss case law while integrating a fact-finding element. At about 8:22 p.m., I got it, and felt so thoroughly angry with my own stupidity that I was tempted to walk out and go home. Result: pretty much, a waste of time. I am confident, however, that I will never ever make the same mistake again.

And to have to listen Honigsberg talking super-fast about the model answer, until 10 p.m., well, that sucked too. Everybody passes? Most people passed on staying to listen to him, and left early.

Anyway, here is what I need to learn: when I do a performance test, I get overwhelmed with all the bits of paper on my desk. In the real world, I take a case, read it, glean what I need and put it straight into the computer. Goodbye paper, if you ever even existed (gotta love Westlaw). In Bar-land, I am trying to stick to the Honigsberg method of task memo outline, file and library outline, notes, keeping a record in case my computer crashes (although I have never ever had that happen to me, touch wood, and I can't believe it will happen on the Bar either). The result of this paper-centric method is that I tear all the pages out, shuffle them, lose them, fuck up, etc. There is nothing in the Pacer program that says "How to deal with all the bits of paper in a Performance Test." I will just have to work it out on my own. Practice makes 65%, right?

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Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Fundamental corporate changes

Time to take an inventory of where I am with all this nonsense.

1. First, without even considering whether I have mastered the nine subjects we have so far studied, I have to admit that BAR PREP MAKES ME FAT! I have probably gained ten pounds in seven weeks, and I have developed an insatiable appetite for potato chips. Just know, if you haven't seen me for a while, that I may appear a little softer around the edges. Exercise? Exercise be damned: if I have a spare thirty minutes, I am going to spend it snuggling with my long-suffering honey pie, not schlepping around the neighborhood.

2. Bizarrely enough, studying in a quiet room at a desk is less effective than sitting on the floor (with a bag of potato chips, natch) watching daytime TV out of the corner of my eye with all my notes spread out on the floor. This method has helped me master the bogey-man subject, Corporations, and today I am going to use it to re-visit Civ Pro. Why does it work? I don't know, but it if it works, it works.

3. I have realized that I am just as anxious about having to go to Ontario as I am about the test itself. I am not hotel-adverse, but there is something about a chain hotel with acrylic floral bed covers that makes me feel distinctly unrested. If you are staying at the Ontario Sheraton, I will be the one checking in with a feather duvet and a tea kettle.

4. I've come a long way, baby. I am getting mail with the label "attorney at law." If the postman thinks its true, it must be true, right?

5. I am going to pass this thing. If I don't, I have only myself to blame.

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Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Sale to looters

No class last Friday night, which turns out to be a good thing: the hotel where we have our Bar/Bri class was robbed at gun point while we were gone. No word yet on whether it was a frustrated Bar applicant trying to recoup money spent on cold french fries from the hotel buffet...
Since the conference room where we meet to suffer through four hours a night of insane delusions and 10-b-5 issues is about ten feet from the front desk, I wonder what would have happened had we been there. I think I would probably have hidden under my table and cried. No, wait, that is what I was planning to do on February 27.

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Monday, February 5, 2007

Praying for Herb and Wanda on at least five out of six essays

How sweet would it be to have an all-CP Bar Exam? There are really only a few rules to remember, they apply everywhere, the exceptions are intuitive and please god, they might push a civ pro question off the table allowing me at least a slim chance of passing.
Also, have been taking the real MBE practice exams, and feel oh-so-good about the fact that it wasn't just me being dumb, and I really can crack the 80% mark when I need to.

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Sunday, February 4, 2007

just... can't... get... started...

I took from 3 p.m. yesterday to 1 p.m. today off from studying. Now, I can't begin to get back into the desperate race-to-the-finishline mode I have been in for so long. The sun is out. I have been reading other people's Bar blogs, including the year-old but excellent Phubar; I looked the neighbor's house up on realtor.com; I have shopped for an electric kettle to take with me to Ontario so I can drink earl grey tea in my room without dealing with the hoards.

And I went to church. Here is what I learned: the vicar (who is eight months pregnant) is due to have a baby in the first week of March. Her husband is taking the February Bar. I feel a whole lot better now I know the stakes are way higher for him than they are for me. He has failed once already, too. My worst failing (apart from procrastinating): feeling better by virtue of the misfortune of others.

Gotcha, Bob

Felt so ripped off by the PMBR questions, I focused in on a couple and found that well I never, they really have got the law wrong. This makes me feel better, since I knew enough to see that they didn't make sense, but I can't help feeling it places the thousands of people who take the class at a supreme disadvantage. Sample "problem" - a municipal regulation discriminates against those who live in a different municipality but seemingly in the same state. Only way to analyze it: equal protection. I mean, there cannot be a P&I issue here, because they ALL LIVE IN THE SAME DAMN STATE. So, being a trusting sort of a girl, I pick the equal protection answer, even though there isn't really a protected class at issue. Wrong. In the world according to Bob, this is just plain old P&I. Another classic: Present recollection refreshed. Police officer can't remember, uses his report to refresh his memory and then testifies. Rule: show it to the other side, they can introduce parts of the writing into evidence whatever the writing is (especially since the hearsay is now on the record anyway). Answer in the world according to Bob? Nope. In the words of Ben Folds Five, "Give me my money back, you bitch."

To celebrate, last night I accidentally drank a whole bottle of strong red wine. Man, that felt good.

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Friday, February 2, 2007

PMBR (dis)advantage?

For some reason which now escapes me, I was the only one of my Bar/Bri cohort to go back for the PMBR three-day review. Off I schlepped, and now, after 6 hours of another MBE practice exam, I am stumped. Is it that the PMBR questions are different from the Bar/Bri MBEs, or is it that I don't know the law? I would like to think it was the former, coupled with the fact that the typos and bad grammar in the PMBR questions are at best off-putting. My score has slipped (just when I had hauled it up to a respectable passing level) and the sense that all is right with the world which I so naively held this morning has been replaced with abject fear of failure. Again. I am not ashamed (maybe I should be) to say I hauled in 117 on this test, significantly below my recent average and way below my comfort zone.

The materials from PMBR say to scale the score up by 36 points, which puts me at 153, to get my MBE performance level as of this date (whatever that means). Does that suggest that as long as I go back for another two days of PMBR lectures, I could achieve a 153 on the big day? Is that scaled score "as of this date" taking into account the fact I have been studying since November, or does it assume I just walked off the street?

I think I need a glass of wine and a nap before I decide whether to subject myself to days two and three of this nightmare.

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Rule 10b-5, Rule 12(b)(6)

Bar/Bri amazes me, in that we are covering a whole year's worth of class material in a night at this stage. It is exhausting, but somewhat vindicating -- who didn't sit through Corporations thinking cumulative shareholder voting could be dispensed with in 2 minutes, rather than two days?
The speed and the late-night-brutality and the intensity of it all is frying my brain, though. First Civ Pro then Corporations, back-to-back with the same wannabe Bob Feinberg lecturer, means all the information is entwined in my mind. Here's hoping for a cross-over essay between SEC Rule 16B and supplemental jurisdiction. At 9:50 p.m. last night, the proctor turned around and wondered if, like him, we were wishing we could change places with a classmate who has ended up in hospital with carbon monoxide poisoning. That's another story, too terrible for words. The short version - she thought it was the stress of Bar prep that was giving her chronic headaches, nausea and vomiting, but actually, the more she tried to sleep it off, the sicker she got. Thank heavens for portable oxygen tanks.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The power, you have

I took a nice two hours off studying yesterday, and it really helped -- who knew falling behind could be so motivating?
First, I went to see my old boss (sorry, former employer). He regaled me with tales of his bar prep, which I blithely pretended I was hearing for the first time. This time, however, I think it was actually really helpful. He took and passed the Bar before I was born, something I have never and will never actually tell him, but some things remain unchanged. This is what I took away this time:
1. It's a crap shoot as to which essays you will get, and whether you will remember the law on the day (however, we both agreed I am pretty damn good at playing craps, which I believe is indeed a game of skill and not of chance).
2. He got a prescription for sleeping pills so he didn't lie awake worrying about the exam the night before. I might do this, it is probably less risky than it was in 1971.
3. The old BAR review, predecesor to Bar/Bri, did not include an essay writing component. But it was the essay writing course he took that made all of the difference.
4. The cases I worked on for him are still ridiculous, still pending trial and made me want to roll up my sleeves and go to trial already.

With all of this helpful gossip swimming around in my head, I went down the hall to visit a friend who works in a family law office. Her boss wasn't there, she didn't have much to do and was thinking of leaving to set up a non-profit. It made me glad that I am on a collision course with life as an attorney. She will be succesful, and live happily ever after, but the uncertainty would kill me.
Supplemental jurisdiction is calling. Wish me luck.

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Monday, January 29, 2007

Not now, please, I'm (supposed to be) studying

Just got an email from BarBri with the summer class times. That's a terrible thought. Do they know something I don't? What if I fail the Bar on a Friday, and have to start BarBri again on a Monday? Does it cost another $3000? How will I tolerate the "EVERYBODY PASSES" lecture?
Best get down to some more studying, then.

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Reciprocal negative servitudes, where art thou?

I survived the three-day MBE weekend, more or less -- and in doing so, gleaned yet another pearl of Bar prep wisdom: this is a physical endurance test, and it gives survival of the fittest a whole new meaning.
By hour five of the MBEs, I was ready to rest my head on the table and throw in the towel. I was trying to go cold turkey without tea or coffee, my head was ready to explode and I had an hour left. Oh, and did I mention, I think too much? I could have got up, walked out and driven home, but instead, took it on myself to go over the questions that didn't look right on the scantron. You know, too many Cs in a row, or things looking too symmetrical. This is another product of being "foreign," in that absent a few tests in elementary school, multiple choice is just not something I have ever really encountered before. Well, yes, the MPRE, but that's about it. So, off I went, erasing with my No. 2 pencil, re-reading, going over, and alltogether too tired to remember the immortal guiding words of Bob Feinberg. HIT IT AND MOVE ON. On the day of the real MBE, I will be the one with those words tattooed on my knuckles.
Resulting score: miserable. I'll see how it gets scaled on the BarBri website, but basically, I pulled in around 64% which is just not good enough. Smarty pants next to me got 155, damn him.

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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Please don't make this into something it's not

Hah. So, I failed my first practice essay. I went straight to the grade and was seriously pained when I saw it, but then I looked at the essay and remembered writing it and it seems an entirely logical result. Freedom of speech/religion, which I knew nothing about at the time and never grasped in law school. Now, if I get a question on this during the Bar, then I will actually KNOW HOW TO ANSWER IT.
And so, in a funny way, I am actually glad that I failed. I can see that yes, I do have to work hard at this, but more important, reading my first bar exam essay effort, I can see that I have already come a really, really long way. In just a couple of weeks, I have learned what to do, and what I still need to know, and that's what I am paying BarBri $3,000 for, right?

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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Hmmmph

A couple of things have happened today that are pretty dispiriting. First, although I haven't had any graded essays back from BarBri, I spoke to a friend earlier who got one yesterday. She failed it, for being too conclusionary. Now, I know this is the first essay, we wrote it a week or more ago before total immersion into the prep course, and so on. But it was con law, which is not my strongest suit (perhaps because I come from a country without a constitution, so whenever I see the questions, and then look at the answers, I am incredulous at all the rights claimed by the plaintiffs). So, I get off the phone and off I go to the mailbox and no essay for me. I will just have to wait, but I am not looking forward to it. If I am like this now, what am I going to be like when it comes to Bar results?
Second, the MBE drills are getting me down, big time. I am into the realm of the multiple subject tests, but am stuck at the 70% mark. I sense that the REAL tests, not the PMBR or BarBri versions, will be less familiar and thus knock my score down a bit, into the realm of too-close-to-call or thereabouts. Not to mention that here I am fretting about trying to get more than 70% on something, which is not even a C grade in the real world.
Q. Why do I find this hard?
A. It is designed to scare me into working harder.

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Monday, January 22, 2007

Prepare to meet thy six-hour practice exam

Friday is looming as the first all-day stimulated MBE exam. This is going to be a challenge, since I usually study at home during the day (where, even if I am taking a timed test, I still find myself getting up from my desk to get coffee or check the mail).
I am somewhat grateful that I am being forced out of my comfort zone, but at the same time would rather at this point that I was left alone to stew it out on my own. None of my graded assignments from BarBri are even back yet -- so why should I bare my MBE soul to a scantron if there is a risk the results won't show up until March 2?
Still, trust the process, I guess. The good news is that so far, I fare better on the mixed subject MBE drills than the single-subject. Illogical, maybe, but if I can hit 75% I will be happy.

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Saturday, January 20, 2007

Shipwrecked, with no fully integrated agreement

Lawschool always struck me as akin to being stuck on a desert island with a bunch of strangers, with whom you have no choice but to become best friends. You eat, drink, study, and (but not in my case) sleep together; learn and tolerate each others quirks and in a small town like Santa Barbara will probably practice law together until you die or get disbarred...
When you throw the intimacies of lawschool into the mix with BarBri, things get interesting. For a start, I am taking a video program, so for five nights a week and one Saturday, we meet at a suburban Holiday Inn, complete with static carpets, faulty heating and beer served in polystyrene cups. Then, throw in the other people who none of "us" has ever met before: the re-takers, the ABA kids home to stay with their parents while they study, and the silent people who may just have wondered in from the lobby because hey, who DOESN'T want to spend Friday night watching a four hour evidence lecture? These people all become best friends too, and on we go with the relentless march towards the Bar.
Last night was a case in point. We are now ending week three of BarBri, and the ice is definitely broken. A bottle of whisky was present. The Canadian Man is growing a beard and looks like Captain Haddock. Someone brought cold pasta with sausage and a lot of chilies, which my smarty-pants friend couldn't resist eating even though his stomach complained so loudly that half the room was reduced to tears of laughter. One of the ardent re-takers (about to attempt Bar number seven) was doing yoga stretches against the wall. And then one of the up-to-this-point silent people, who wears flip flops and reads the paper during the lectures, finally broke his silence. His first ever words to the assembled BarBri faithful: "Did you know you can implant a remote control device at the base of a woman's spine to give her orgasms?"
Today - Evidence essays, MBE drills, and I am going to go out tonight and take plenty of refreshment. No beards, no pasta, no Holiday Inn.

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Performance, performance, performance

Just had one of those "a-ha" moments. And no, not a revisit of the Eighties classic. The Performance Test is 200 points a shot, 400 total. More points than an exam, more points than an area on the MBE. If I pass the PT, I'll probably pass the bar: but if I screw it up, then I will probably fail.

This makes sense, since the whole idea of the Bar in the first place is to regulate who should and shouldn't practice law, and the test basically is designed to show whether or not you can follow instructions and bullshit your way through a piece of legal writing. But why didn't anyone tell me this before? Why did I have to work it out for myself, schlepping through practice exams and how-to lectures and having nightmares about drafting wills and trusts? And why didn't I work it out by yesterday afternoon, when half-way through one of the beastly practice exams I actually chose to go and take a nap instead of finishing the damn thing? (It does make me feel a bit better to know that the smartest kid in my graduating class also apparently took a nap half way through, but man, he can afford it.)

Again, I recap the odds. In my corner, the fact that it won't be the first time I have drafted an appellate brief, legal memo or letter to opposing counsel (heck, I hope it won't be the last, either). On the other side, sweating and jumping around in satin shorts and silly lace-up boots and wearing great big red gloves full of concrete, an over-tired under-paid bar examiner at 2 a.m. who has had too much caffeine and objects to my constant use of the phrase "even assuming."

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Sixty-seven-point-four

The passrate for first time takers of the California State Bar Examination is 67.4%. Just keep the focus!

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Oh, so that's it

Over the past few days, I have probably spent 40 or 50 hours studying contracts. That's on top of a year in law school, and a seperate course in the UCC. When it comes to writing a practice essay, however, I can't even spell out the rule for offer and acceptance. I think I have reached capacity and my brain is full.
Do I continue to force myself to slay the beast that is contract law (really it is just damage limitation, and I am not even slaying it, just locking it up in the barn)?

When I look at the practice essay answers, they seem so straightforward. I think I know too much, or something.

Heck.

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Damage limitation?

Much as I love David Epstein (see below) it pains me to look over my contracts outline, feel like yes, I really get this: and then take a practice MBE. Manager, these are tough. I made all sorts of excuses for myself (it's late, I have been studying all day, I got distracted) but even so, could hardly stomach my ridiculous performance. 10 out of 17 on the drill. That has got to be my worst ever score at ANYTHING, let alone something I am about to take a national test on.
So then, I go to the online Barbri lecture that follows the test, and what do I hear? The unseen audience is nervously snickering. The lecturer is talking about damage limitation. And he says "Don't worry, the national average on these is 60-something percent." Does this make me feel better? I don't know. I am now running at around 66%, a pass rate, but these are practice questions written by BarBri (memo to self, must try the PMBR ones incase they have the added benefit of being perhaps based on notes cribbed from the real thing). And, apparently, the reason contracts is so hard is that the examiners who write the contracts questions have deliberately refused to release testing areas, or play ball in anyway with people like me who are trying to learn the test.

There's nothing for it. I have to really LEARN this stuff, not just feel like I understand it. Wish me luck.

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

I Love David Epstein

Aside from an overriding concern that he would hurt his back by leaning on the podium at such an awkward angle, listening to David Epstein lecture is what makes BarBri so worthwhile. Making Contracts funny is a skill beyond most mere mortals: and heck, who doesn't love armadillos? I have to say I am not a mnemonic kind of a girl, and come February 27, I don't doubt that faced with a contracts essay I will be able to picture an armadillo from Texas playing rap eating tacos, but will NEVER be able to remember what A F T P R E A stands for. In fact, I have forgotten already. But on the other hand, if I get a question at any point that involves FOB (seller) I will be laughing silently at the thought of armadillos riding a greyhound bus to Texas wearing orange neckerchiefs.

Ever concerned (no really) about what is happening to classmates who are taking BarPassers or even Flemings instead of BarBri, it makes one realize why this course has such a monopoly. If anyone is any doubt as to which bar prep course to take for the February bar, just go for the money answer (unless, of course, you live 100 miles from the nearest Barbri location). And don't hold back the laughter when Epstein rolls out the armadillo jokes...

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Sunday, Bloody Sunday

One thing about bar prep that amazes me is the relentless, never-let-up nature of it all. It's a beautiful Sunday morning. All over the world, my friends are lounging around reading the papers, making pots of coffee and eating leisurely breakfasts. I have been up since 9 a.m. (yes, a lie-in, taking two hours of my study time) doing practice essays in criminal law and making yet more flash cards. I fantazise about a time when I can reenter the real world. I know in reality I will be worried about cases I am working on, collapsing under a punishing workload or mulling over possible defenses for some poor schmuck who gets caught with meth, again: but AT LEAST I WILL BE BEING PAID TO THINK. And that, of course, is why we are all doing this, giving up our Sundays and our lives and spending twelve hours a day (or, realistically, more) trying to distinguish insanity defenses or UCC provisions. Because at the heart of it, we all want to be paid to think.

OK, back to work. I was feeling bad yesterday about taking time out to do other stuff, and then realized that even with two hours off, I was still spending more than ten hours a day on this. Unbelievable.

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

On tour

On tour is a great thing Irish people say about people who are not quited rooted in reality... And, amazingly enough, I found out last night that a classmate "missing" from BarBri is actually, physically on tour. And mentally, by implication. We were all wondering why she hadn't come to a single class. Turns out she is on vacation, and plans to start bar prep next week (which is, hey, about a month before the bar, but let's not even think of that). She will just make up what she missed, she says.
Except of course, there are only 24 hours in a day, and Barbri has a 12-hour-a-day schedule, and, well, did I mention that she is ON TOUR?
This makes me feel better, by the way, because everytime I run across someone like this, I can slot them into the 35% of people who don't make it first time, and feel as if their incapacity is pushing me into the 65% of people that do.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

BarBri, Day 8... or is that night 9?

So, today I did my first BarBri, send-it-in-and-we'll grade it essay. As soon as I sat down to do it, some big alien force took over my brain, sucked out all of the information. There were too many words in the question, and I seemed to be highlighting EVERYTHING in yellow, and then the page was too yellow, and then I was questioning the wisdom of running through all the checklists, and then... Well, this is the only time I have run out of time on one of these questions. My brain slowed down, I was methodical (too methodical) and then, the hour was up. If this is how it is on February 27, I am screwed.

Or am I?

I am totally mystified as to what makes people fail the Bar, but grappling with the possibility that yes, I really could fail this thing. I am running through a lot of variables in my head: my MBEs are OK. I can read and write in English. I did ok in lawschool, despite never doing much work. There are a lot of stupid lawyers out there who are barely literate, but they passed. All of the affirmations make me feel better, but then, the percentages and the passrates and the fact that everyone is afraid gets on top of me, and I think yes, this could be me. This could be the thing I fail.

Whenever things get this way, I go the California Bar Exam Primer. The website calms me down, somehow.